[EXCERPT FROM ESSAY TODAY I ASKED MYSELF MY STORY][I AM A WRITER, NOT A DOCTOR. CLICK TO READ MEDICAL DISCLAIMER]
The ancient Zen wisdom tells us, “We cannot see our reflection in running water, it is only in still water that we can see.”
It is only from the stillness of my thirties, once the clouds of depression, grief, and trauma parted, and the waves of inevitable life-change stopped crashing overhead, that I have been able to take a good, hard, look at the raw material of who I am, and begin to make use of it.
Forever my insular qualities of quietness, solitude, and ability to dwell and ruminate over the tiniest details have been my biggest personal liabilities, causing my mental health to be a wide-open target for struggle.
But upon further exploration, I’ve discovered these characteristics also lend a mighty hand to creativity, and knowing so has helped me begin to see myself differently. Maybe, these traits that constitute such a large, unshakeable part of who I am are not disadvantages at all. Maybe, they are my superpower. And maybe, my journey was about helping me to see that.
I think we are all born into this world as a unique assembly of raw material. It is how we cultivate that raw material and utilize it to meet the moment that makes us who we are, and I firmly believe each and every one of us has the gifts and the little spark of madness we need in order to fulfill our purpose. It is our job to keep the embers of our purpose alive at all costs, so when the mighty winds of opportunity blow, there will be nothing short of an act of God to stop our fire from burning.
In so many ways, this world can prove to us that we are not enough, and in fact, showing up fully aware of our worth in a place that will go to any lengths to refute us might be one of the bravest, most vulnerable stances we can take in our lifetime. But our job is to let our worth be the resilient force that allows us to seek and fulfill our purpose.
I think our life here is a journey to help us better understand and express the Universal Truths that transcend this world. Are we not all here to love and be loved? To spread hope and to be hopeful? To try to see ourselves and others as clearly as possible? I think you would be hard-pressed to find true happiness is a byproduct of anything else.
Until tomorrow,
Tess
“You’re only given a little spark of madness. You mustn’t lose it.”
Robin Williams
Click here to read more of the essay Today I Asked Myself My Story
- I Don’t Know About You, But Am I Really 32?
- Today I Asked Myself My Story
- My First Run Back
- Today I Asked Myself About My Worth
- Today I Asked Myself About Rebuilding With Worth
- Today I Asked Myself About Discovering Shame & Finding My Worth
